In my past, when I was a little child, I witnessed so many conflicts, clashes, and quarrels around me. It happened among the villagers, the children – my friends, or even my closest family. I used to be that naughty by kicking my friends. I used to quarrel and fight to the boys. I used to be very ‘wild’ girl.
It gave much traumatic, you know. In other hand, I didn’t have any strength to prevent or avoid it. It hurt me much, hurt my heart.
So then I grew with a great intension and strong will that I do not want to face any conflict in the future, moreover the conflict or clash that breaks the friendship or brotherhood. I do not want it at all.
Then I made my self to be a nice girl, avoiding the conflicts by ‘yes’ girl. Even my friend did something hurt me, I just kept silent. What I needed was that anything would be fine, no conflict moreover breaking the friendship.
It was very awful seeing the neighbors broke the relationship to other neighbors. It was a nightmare knowing that they didn’t speak when they passed on the street, or something. It was very hurtful, you know.
As time passed, I learnt how to be fair. Yeah.. it’s okay to allow somebody does anything he/she likes to me, I have many ways to forgive, but then I have a position. If it’s for the sake of the truth, I have to fight for it. But still, for certain condition, I prefer “just do what you want to do as pleasure”. Well, I have courage to remind somebody if he/she does wrong. But, then I do not force them to do or not to do.
The belief I hold on, “We can fix anything broken, if we have good will.” So I do appreciate and much praises how Islam teaches us, about TABAYUN.
Islam comes to us to make a peace, to reconcile among those who are in conflicts, right? Nabi Muhammad reconciled the Arabian from long clashes among them. Then he reconciled between the citizen of Mecca and Medina.
Clearly, it doesn’t make any sense to my mind, if, the conflicts between Muslims cannot be solved. Islam teaches us to discuss the problem, not to hide it. If they cannot solve by themselves then just consult it to another person.
TABAYUN – teaches us not to be egoistic person, who judge others in our opinion only. Tabayun is a way to clarify what a person has done, so it’s based on both perception not only based on somebody’s suspicion.
It doesn’t make any sense to my mind, when you think I am wrong, then without telling me, you leave me as I have known what the problem is. It is unreasonable. It is illogic.
It really hurts me, when you break the friendship or even brotherhood in the name of Islam, without clarifying to me what my fault is. Leaving me in unclear condition.
If you are Muslim, and you understand the mechanism of brotherhood in Islam, how can it be?
Everybody does mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. We may punish other people because of their mistakes, but we cannot blame them without TABAYUN first.
Can somebody be blamed if he/she doesn’t know what his/her fault is?
Can we judge somebody based on our own suspicion?
I think it is not fair.
If this brotherhood is because of Allah, I do believe we have good will to fix it. But if it is not based on loving Him, then, loving whom…?
What kind of UKHUWAH is it, brother?
When you blame your sister so easily?
What kind of UKHUWAH is it, sister?
When you judge your brother without clarification, then you just break as you please?
So where is the place of Allah in your heart, if you do not have any space to forgive?
I am sorry, I doubt it.
[wahtini]